Menstrual Humor, Part 4, at the Museum of Menstruation and Women's Health

news | first page | contact the museum | art of menstruation | artists (non-menstrual) | belts | bidets | Bly, Nellie | MUM board | books (and reviews) | cats | company booklets directory | costumes | cups | cup usage | dispensers | douches, pain, sprays | essay directory | extraction | famous people | FAQ | humor | huts | links | media | miscellaneous | museum future | Norwegian menstruation exhibit | odor | pad directory | patent medicine | poetry directory | products, current | religion | menstrual products safety | science | shame | sponges | synchrony | tampon directory | early tampons | teen ads directory | tour (video) | underpants directory | videos, films directory | washable pads | LIST OF ALL TOPICS

I am sorry to have to warn you, but YOU MAY BE OFFENDED BY THE HUMOR BELOW!

Please read the reason for this humor section before you proceed!

Send in your jokes, cartoons, etc., so others can enjoy them!

Part 4

An e-mailer named Chizabelle sent this one:

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month.

Physician Michael Abramson, who has delivered many babies, was delivered of this one, which he then delivered to me (read more of his poems on the MUM site and see his amusing site):

AMEN

Women tend to blame us men for all the problems they can see.

They will do it without thinking quite objectively.

Mental distress, ménage à trois, menarche and menstrual flow,

premenstrual tension, menorrhagia, and anything that seems to go.

Hypermenorrhea, menopause, Mendel's law and amenorrhea,

women's wear, bad women's hair, and everything but diarrhea.

I'm sorry now I mentioned it, I know it's all mendacious,

it's a shame, and I'll regret it, just for being so loquacious.

It dawned on me only after reading the poem 10 times that "men" is in each objectionable word, the title, "mentioned" and in "mendacious" - besides - horrors! - "women." Pretty clever!

From the woman president of a certain professional organization:

Did you hear about the unfortunate seamstress?

She couldn't mend straight.

From the Internet:

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

A woman in my office told me that this Web site confers a Golden Tampon Award for the best sites! Could THIS site one day win it??

I just found out on 9 June that MUM won it, for better or worse.

I saw the ceremony of a serious academic organization in which the change of (always women) presidents is officially done in a semi-public ceremony in which the outgoing president hands the new president a bronzed tampon.

Don't ask! I've promised not to reveal the name!

The co-worker who explained the phrase "right smart while" to me told me this one:

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checker, she learned that one of the boxes had no price tag.

The checker got on the public address system and boomed, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE !!"

That was bad enough for the mortified woman, but somebody at the rear of the store heard the word "Tampax" as being "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the loudspeaker,"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

MUM columnist Petra Habiger sent this cartoon from a German publication:

Translation:

first panel: (Doctor) How long has she been acting like that? (Mother) Since this morning. (Daughter, in bed) So free . . .

second panel: (Daughter) I feel so free . . . so carefree . . . so safe . . . I can do anything! Simply anything! Everything! So free . . .

third panel: (Mother) You can tell me, Doc: She's taking drugs! (Doctor) No, no. (Daughter) So safe. (Doctor) She using the new Always Ultra!

This is from a Norwegian newspaper called Samhold, 3 October 1995, sent to me by Merethe Slensvik of the SCA Molnlycke Company.

Translation:

Big words: The Pad in the Form of a Joke

(The joke's the red part; I added the red): "One of the more common blonde jokes is, for example, Why are there 10 dead blondes lying at the foot of a high apartment building in Stovner? They had tried Libresse [menstrual pads] with wings."

A Sylvia comic strip from 5 August 1995 mentioned this museum.

Send in your jokes, cartoons, etc., so others can enjoy them!

news | first page | contact the museum | art of menstruation | artists (non-menstrual) | belts | bidets | Bly, Nellie | MUM board | books (and reviews) | cats | company booklets directory | costumes | cups | cup usage | dispensers | douches, pain, sprays | essay directory | extraction | famous people | FAQ | humor | huts | links | media | miscellaneous | museum future | Norwegian menstruation exhibit | odor | pad directory | patent medicine | poetry directory | products, current | religion | menstrual products safety | science | shame | sponges | synchrony | tampon directory | early tampons | teen ads directory | tour (video) | underpants directory | videos, films directory | washable pads | LIST OF ALL TOPICS

Take a short tour of MUM! (and on Web video!) - FAQ - Future of this museum - Tampon Safety Act - Visit or contact the actual museum - Board of Directors - Norwegian menstruation exhibit - The media and the MUM - Menstrual odor - Prof. Mack C. Padd: Fat Cat - The science and medicine of menstruation - Early tampons - Books about menstruation - Menstrual cups: history, comments - A Note from Germany/Neues aus Deutschland und Europa - Letters - Links

© 1998 Harry Finley. It is illegal to reproduce or distribute work on this Web site in any manner or medium without written permission of the author. Please report suspected violations to hfinley@mum.org

see also Humor in Advertising

I am sorry to have to warn you, but YOU MAY BE OFFENDED BY THE HUMOR BELOW!

Please read the reason for this humor section before you proceed!

Send in your jokes, cartoons, etc., so others can enjoy them!

Part 4

An e-mailer named Chizabelle sent this one:

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month.

Physician Michael Abramson, who has delivered many babies, was delivered of this one, which he then delivered to me (read more of his poems on the MUM site and see his amusing site):

AMEN

Women tend to blame us men for all the problems they can see.

They will do it without thinking quite objectively.

Mental distress, ménage à trois, menarche and menstrual flow,

premenstrual tension, menorrhagia, and anything that seems to go.

Hypermenorrhea, menopause, Mendel's law and amenorrhea,

women's wear, bad women's hair, and everything but diarrhea.

I'm sorry now I mentioned it, I know it's all mendacious,

it's a shame, and I'll regret it, just for being so loquacious.

It dawned on me only after reading the poem 10 times that "men" is in each objectionable word, the title, "mentioned" and in "mendacious" - besides - horrors! - "women." Pretty clever!

From the woman president of a certain professional organization:

Did you hear about the unfortunate seamstress?

She couldn't mend straight.

From the Internet:

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

A woman in my office told me that this Web site confers a Golden Tampon Award for the best sites! Could THIS site one day win it??

I just found out on 9 June that MUM won it, for better or worse.

I saw the ceremony of a serious academic organization in which the change of (always women) presidents is officially done in a semi-public ceremony in which the outgoing president hands the new president a bronzed tampon.

Don't ask! I've promised not to reveal the name!

The co-worker who explained the phrase "right smart while" to me told me this one:

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checker, she learned that one of the boxes had no price tag.

The checker got on the public address system and boomed, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE !!"

That was bad enough for the mortified woman, but somebody at the rear of the store heard the word "Tampax" as being "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the loudspeaker,"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

MUM columnist Petra Habiger sent this cartoon from a German publication:

Translation:

first panel: (Doctor) How long has she been acting like that? (Mother) Since this morning. (Daughter, in bed) So free . . .

second panel: (Daughter) I feel so free . . . so carefree . . . so safe . . . I can do anything! Simply anything! Everything! So free . . .

third panel: (Mother) You can tell me, Doc: She's taking drugs! (Doctor) No, no. (Daughter) So safe. (Doctor) She using the new Always Ultra!

This is from a Norwegian newspaper called Samhold, 3 October 1995, sent to me by Merethe Slensvik of the SCA Molnlycke Company.

Big words: The Pad in the Form of a Joke

(The joke's the red part; I added the red): "One of the more common blonde jokes is, for example, Why are there 10 dead blondes lying at the foot of a high apartment building in Stovner? They had tried Libresse [menstrual pads] with wings."

A Sylvia comic strip from 5 August 1995 mentioned this museum.

Send in your jokes, cartoons, etc., so others can enjoy them!

See also humor in advertising

© 1998 Harry Finley. It is illegal to reproduce or distribute work on this Web site in any manner or medium without written permission of the author. Please report suspected violations to hfinley@mum.org