The artist,
Nikoline Calcaterra
Introduction
Presently, I am working as both a
multi-media artist and as the
Program Coordinator at White
Mountain Academy of the Arts, in
Elliot Lake, Ontario.
Throughout my life, art has been a
source of comfort, insight and
beauty, from literature to music to
visual art.
It brings tears to my eyes to
remember waking up in the middle of
the night as a young girl, to the
sound of my mother's typewriter as
she vigorously released her response
from the day past. This was the only
spare time she could find, after her
role as mother and wife. Today, she
has fulfilled her dream.
As an adult, I still get chills
when I hear Mozart and Bach. It
reminds me of our old upright piano
and takes me back to a time when
things were straightforward, to a
time when all of life's questions
were answered by a simple emotional
response. If reading "Anne of Green
Gables" or listening to Mozart made
me cry, I did not question why, I
simply accepted the sadness as my
response to the art.
This concept of the emotional
response has become my main
inspiration behind my present body
of work. The work is an emotional
response to both my conscious and
subconscious observations as a
lesbian woman. Although my work is
supported by research, the root of
my observation is gathered following
the works creation. Some believe
that this method is backwards in its
execution, but I believe that by
working from the emotional response,
I am maintaining the purity of the
thought, with few outside
influences.
Artist's
Statement
My inspiration stems from being
woman and needing to release my
emotional response to all that I
observe in this form and on this
Earthwalk.
I fail to understand this worlds
inability to see things for what
they are. Therefore, I feel the need
to create discussions that often go
unexpressed. Woman bleeds. Blood is
life. Life is beyond control.
I am inspired by life, and the
emotions involved in holding the
position of woman. I am inspired by
love and the emotions invested in
loving another called "woman." I am
inspired by women and the emotions
generated when circles are formed. I
am inspired by the Great Mother and
the emotions surrounding her
creation and destruction.
The work I create reflects emotions
involving gender identity related to
woman and her journey, from birth to
her passage through the veil, and
beyond.
"Creation
Circuit"
I entered into a discussion with a
friend about the possibility of
having a child with my current
partner. I mentioned that we were
considering a few options, including
finding a suitable sperm donor. She
looked at me with confusion and
said, "Why do you need a sperm
donor? Why can't the two of you have
a baby?" I gave her a minute to
process what she had just said, and
then the light came on. "Oh my
Goddess! I had never thought about
the fact that you are both women!"
This conversation inspired me to
make Creation Circuit.
Creation Circuit is a three
piece steal gate that attaches to a
tall blood red picket fence. The two
outer gate pieces, each 5.5' x 2.5',
are bent into the vague silhouettes
of women facing into each other. The
centre gate piece that acts as the
door is a 4.75' x 2.5' rounded
rectangle. The centre of each piece
contains a series of brushed steel
circular vines that indicate a
spiral growth pattern, moving in and
out of each piece. In the centre of
the door piece is a stone that
appears to be the source of the
surrounding growth. In all three
pieces there is a series of 1/2"
round bar painted blood red that on
either end piece, joins up to an
oval stone. When all three gate
pieces are lined up, the spiral
growth, the red round bar and the
stones inside the gate frame become
a large image of what I imagine
procreation by two females would
look like. The red round bar forms
the vagina, cervix and uterus in the
door piece, and the fallopian tubes
in the two outside pieces. The oval
stones in the two outside pieces are
the ovaries, and the stone in the
door piece is the egg having been
fertilized and is beginning its
growth. I have always pictured the
chemistry of the first moments of a
fertilized egg to be like fireworks,
an explosion of hormones and DNA.
Although it is fully functional
outside, it is meant to be installed
in a gallery so that the red picket
fence follows along the walls of the
entire gallery space and the gate is
the means of entrance into the
exhibition space.
Creation Circuit is about
menstruation, procreation,
sexuality, life, etc., and is meant
to look at why our society finds it
so hard to accept that those who
bleed and give life, can also love
and nurture and provide for that
life together.
"Padded" -
(Images 1 to 4)
"Padded" was inspired, in part by
my recent introduction to homemade,
terry cloth menstrual nappies, and
in part by Gloria Steinem's essay
entitled, If Men Could
Menstruate.
"Padded" was created by covering a
XL fleece vest with clean, fresh,
whiter-than-white menstrual pads in
a pattern that mimicked a quilted
down ski vest sized to fit a large
male. The tampons were added as
decoration, loosely referring to the
North American native cultures that
would honour woman during her
moon-time by isolating her in a
menstrual hut where she could be
with her powerful energy.
The inside lining of the vest is
made of red broadcloth, which
represents the blood being contained
inside the body instead of being
aloud to run out from the body. It
also refers to the disconnection
women have with their blood now that
disposable menstrual products have
replaced the reusable, re-washable
pad. Women no longer have to look,
touch or smell their power. They
simple contain, dispose and ignore
the gift that separates and honours
them as women.
The vest hangs in a steel cage, 70
x 70 x 90 cm, much like a bird cage
only bottomless. This refers to
women as beings caged by patriarchy
for their "bloody inconvenience",
but continue to repress themselves
by refusing to escape from the cage
walls. Tampons, although dangerous
and unnatural, are very convenient
and allow women to ignore their
moon-time and move forward in the
male-dominated work world, becoming
much like man, obsessed with time,
money and convenience. The result is
a new generation of woman who are
disconnected from the rituals of
blood that define them as strong,
powerful, givers of life, who
instead view blood as a dirty curse
that causes discomfort and
inconvenience each month, beginning
at puberty and ending with
menopause.
The vest is fitted for a large male
frame, and is meant to be worn by a
model as a format for exhibition.
This is a commentary on Gloria
Steinem's essay, If Men Could
Menstruate:
...the characteristics of the
powerful, whatever they may be,
are thought to be better than the
characteristics of the powerless -
and logic has nothing to do with
it. What would happen, for
instance, if suddenly, magically,
men could menstruate and women
could not? The answer is clear -
menstruation would become an
enviable, boast-worthy, masculine
event. [Read the whole essay here.]
It is with the above in mind, that
I challenge the male ego to step up
and wear this vest in honour of all
the women in their lives who have
had to face the stigma of being the
gender that bleeds and therefore
gives life to this world.
Menses:
Maiden, Mother, Crone
Series (images 5 - 8)
The Menses series was
inspired mainly by a birthing
retreat I attended with my partner
and seven other women, two of whom
were lesbians, four sexual abuse
victims, four retired nurses, two
healing artists, two visual artists
and five Crones. Among many other
incredible discussions that went on
during this weekend, was one
regarding the story of our first
menses. What came out of this
recollection, this deep soul
searching, was a flush of emotion;
laughter, tears, anger, hysteria,
embarrassment, . . . laughter, and
what we began to realize, was how
little attention we had aloud to
this moment, how little attention
the world allows to this moment.
For the women, the experience of
our first menses was not too far
gone, but for the Crones, this
memory was stored, and in most cases
hidden behind 40 or 50 years of
memories. We discussed blood,
mothers, cramps, fathers, secrets,
embarrassing moments,
misunderstandings, tampons, terry
cloth nappies and menstrual pad
belts! Throughout the weekend, we as
women honoured each stage of the
female life, from Maiden to Woman to
Crone, and aloud each moment the
attention that it deserved. From
this experience comes the Menses
series.
Menses: Maiden, Mother, Crone
all begin with the same imprinted
background of blood red disposable
pads and the same foreground image
of an entanglement of tubes in the
top right hand corner, with a detail
of those same tubes spanning the
length of the paper. These tubes
represent the inner workings of the
female body during so many moments
in our lives, from the umbilical
cord to the birth canal to the
fallopian tubes.
Menses: Maiden has white
Japanese rice paper chinchölé on the
right third of the image. This is to
symbolize the portion of purity a
Maiden still holds prior to her
first menses. On the bottom centre
of the image, the famous "Tampax
Insertion Instructions" have been
transferred onto the same white rice
paper. This image describes the
anxiety and confusion that so many
Maidens go through prior to
bleeding. "They want me to stick
what into where?!" In the top left
hand corner, there is the same white
rice paper cut into the shape of a
pad with the following words written
by Eve Ensler:
"Second grade, seven years old,
my brother was talking about
periods. I didn't like the way he
was laughing. I went to my mother.
'What's a period?' I said. 'It's
punctuation,' she said. 'You put
it at the end of a sentence.' My
father brought me a card: 'To my
little girl who isn't so little
anymore.' I was terrified. My
mother showed me the thick
sanitary napkins. I was to bring
the used ones to the can under the
sink. I remember being one fo the
last. I was thirteen. We all
wanted it to come. I was afraid. I
started putting the used pads in
brown paper bags in the dark
storage places under the roof."
-The Vagina Monologues
On the far left hand side of the
image, on the edge of the white
chinchölé, is a pink ribbon that is
laced to the paper with pink
embroidery floss in the style that
corsets were laced. In many rituals,
ribbons are given to women as a way
to mark certain moments in their
lives. Pink represents the Maiden
and the lacing describes the
repression young Maidens experience
by being kept silent about one of
the most precious moments of their
lives
Menses: Mother has red
hand-watercoloured Japanese rice
paper chinchölé on the right third
of the image. This represents the
blood of a Woman. The blood of the
menses, the blood of the broken
hymen and the blood spilled during
childbirth. On the bottom centre of
the image is a transfer on the same
red watercoloured rice paper, of a
Maltese statue symbolizing the
birthing process. Her vulva is
swollen and open and her legs are
held high and wide. On her back are
nine lines that represent the nine
months of carrying the child in her
womb. On the top left hand corner of
the image is a disposable menstrual
pad with the following words written
by Jamie Sams:
"The Thirteen Original Clan
Mothers decided to forge the bonds
of sisterhood that would unite all
women as one. This Sisterhood was
based on a bond of blood that
marked the cycles of fertility in
women. These cycles of fertility
are based on moon cycles of
twenty-eight days between
bleeding. To this day, women who
live, dream, or pray together will
have their Moontimes or menstrual
cycles at the same time so that
their wombs are open
simultaneously, allowing the
dreams of humankind to be planted
inside and then nurtured as a
group."
-The Thirteen Original Clan Mothers
On the far left hand side of the
image, on the edge of the red
watercoloured rice paper, is a red
ribbon laced on to the paper with
red embroidery floss in the style
that corsets were laced. In many
rituals, women are given red ribbons
when they begin their menses. The
lacing represents the repression and
embarrassment that women are made to
feel about their moontimes and all
that is involved with this process.
Menses: Crone has cream
coloured Japanese rice paper
chinchölé on the right third of the
image. This represents the memory of
blood, the shadow. On the bottom
centre of the image is a transfer on
the same cream coloured rice paper
of sage bundles. Sage is thought to
hold the power of immortality,
longevity and wisdom, much like a
crone. On the top right corner is
the shadow of a menstrual pad with
the following words written by Kelly
Rose Mason:
"She whispers "Remember", and the
blood song of my ancestors
stirs in my heart as I awaken to
myself.
Remember, as my granddaughter,
how I took your slender hand
and led you to the soft moss to
bleed upon for the first time?
Remember, as lovers, how we
danced and celebrated the secrets
of
our womb, our hair and hips and
skirts whirling to the beat
of the Mother Drum?
Remember, as my daughter, how you
sat at my feet and honored my
wisdom as I do for you now?"
On the far left hand side of the
image, on the edge of the cream
coloured rice paper, is a purple
ribbon laced on to the paper with
purple embroidery floss in the style
that corsets were laced. In many
rituals, women are given purple
ribbons when they stop flowing. It
is a way to honour the Crone for her
wisdom and knowledge. This lacing
represents the repression and
embarrassment that Crones are made
to feel about aging and losing their
ability to create life.
The Menses series is in
response to the ongoing battle women
face because they do in fact bleed.
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